JUBILANT FATHER
His face is like a sun, warms the moon beside him.
She´s grown full; tonight begins the waning.
The tide pulls through her very bones,
her form aches as each wave crests.
The earth pulse, heavy, blood warm within her
Beats new chords, old sun god chants.
"You are the first mother and the last,
all spring flesh has traveled through you."
Aztec plumed and gold beaded,
your priest kneels at the holy alter,
gathers each salt pearl shed, nectar for his sacrament.
You are the temple,
we pilgrims swept through the gates,
bent figures know the scent and petals of your presence,
spread our arms to harvest blossoms,
and your priest, sun struck, kneels beside you.
The minutes pass by, the water falls, from bloodshot vacant eyes, my heart is torn with pain and fear, the anger starts to rise. The eighteenth shot of liquid sin can't help me to forget, the guilt and shame I feel each day, fueled by my regrets. I made a sacred promise, to God my Wife and I, a promise which was broken when I saw my sweetheart die. The demon in the bottle once again posessed my soul. The eighteenth shot of liquid sin would somehow make me whole. I really meant those words I said when I promised not to drink, but standing by my lifeless wife, I had no time to think. It all seemed so surreal that day after all was said and done, I started down that lonely path where I had first begun. I took my grief, my fear and pain and shoved it all away, the eighteenth shot of liquid sin would get me through the day. Each night I would ask for death when I took a chance to pray, my God was gone, my wife was dead and I was on the way. 12 months went by, each day I tried to drink my sins away, the eighteenth shot of liquid sin was asking me to pay. Then one day a friend dropped by, concerned that I would die, he wouldn't let me stay alone or listen to my lies. He helped me find a healing path to grace, truth and life, I found the way to strength and hope, to God I gave my strife. I knew the man who was always there, desired a chance to live, a loving, caring, child of God, with so much more to give. You see I found I'm human, and prone to make mistakes, but God's love is unconditional, he'll give you what it takes. If God himself forgives and loves a tortured soul like mine, why shouldn't I forgive myself and leave the guilt behind? Today I take life easily and let God direct my day. When conflict or confusion comes, he shows me the way. The door was opened, I stepped through, despair came to an end, the eighteenth shot of liquid sin no longer is my fiend. I thank God for one more chance to live another day, I humbly walk beside him as he takes my fears away. I give this message to all of those who's lives are torn apart, Let God forgive, he'll let you live with peace inside your heart.
